The twins turned twelve- TWELVE! It’s so weird to write!- this week and I have so many thoughts that I’ve been trying to sum up. Not in a blog post or a social media post, but also just in my brain. I thought I would try and write them here.

On the one hand, how was it twelve years ago that these two beautiful souls entered the world? It’s really true, it goes by in a flash. On the other hand, I feel like I’ve been there for it all. Yes, some times were harder than others, I was very tired there at the beginning, and I was by no means perfect in my mothering, but even if I can’t remember specific days or every funny thing they said, I remember ‘it.’ I remember what baby hood was like, the feelings in toddler life, what preschool children in my home was like, how the shift into elementary school kids happened, and now I’m here on the cusp of teenageness and I gotta say, I love it the most. I love these two people Chris and I made and I love and enjoy them in my life.

Yes, I miss their sweet chubby hands in mine, their silly little voices, and the routines we had when they were small. But in the same breath I say I miss it I am so thankful for curling up and watching not horrible movies together. Talking to them about bigger things or finding out the big things to them are really still pretty simple and cute. Watching them try out new things, being able to cheer them on from the sidelines, and running them around to 556 activities every single week. I actually love all this too.

Parenting older kids gets harder and I know when they become teenagers and young adults, we will have whole new paths to carve out, but in this moment as I reflect on that day twelve years ago that may be the happiest day of my life, I can say with relative certainty that there’s nothing I’d do over, nothing I’d change. I’m so thankful for someone out there deciding I could handle two at a time and I can’t wait to hang out with them tomorrow and then tomorrow and then the next day after that.

Charlie and Harper if you ever find my weird place on the internet years from now, I hope you see this in writing and know I mean it, having you was the best thing that ever happened to Dad and me and every day we get to spend with you has been a good one. You are my favorite people. Happy Birthday!